Coptalia!
by Cazuki
Summary: Welcome to the world of Coptalia! based on the Colour Police. Thanks for reading in advance and reviews are much appreciated. Rated M for later. Vairous couples included such as USUK, Prucan, Gerita, Spamano, Grejary and Rochu.


**October 31st Night-time…**

This is the time of screeching ghosts and malevolent sprits, the time that the dead is said to rise from the grave and haunt the souls of the living… a truly ghastly time of the year which all men, women and children should fear. But… the most terrifying thing of all, a new horror of the 21st century which has been added into the poison that is All Hallows Eve. An event so horrifying that even the devil himself would tremble in the wake of the oncoming onset of evil, and more than partial nudity, which comes from these hallowed halls.

This new evil is…

The Colour Police's: English Branch Annual Halloween Party.

Now, you may think I'm exaggerating but when you see Francis running around with nothing but a rose defying the laws of gravity on his front and an extremely perverted grin you'll learn to hate this party as much as I do.

And why am I here, standing in the middle of this catastrophe-waiting-to-happen, you may ask?

Well, it's not only Halloween that we're celebrating today. Tonight we are also celebrating the retirement of one of our oldest and most important staff.

John Taylor, 71, ex-head of field investigations at the colour police and the most outstanding one there is. He'd been working here for close to 40 years and in that time he had been an idol for me growing up, helping me get on the right path and eventually getting me into his force under him. For years I had also been working here and when John announced his retirement plans everyone knew who would go up in his place, though some had grumbled about it *cough*The Frog*cough*.

That's right, me, Arthur Kirkland, the current head of field operations for the Colour Police English Branch. When I had been promoted I had to fight not to brag about it, though I couldn't resist the urge with some of my colleagues who I… didn't so often find myself on good terms with.

John, who had always been a serious yet good-hearted man, had loved the idea of ending off with a bang on one of the most infamous parties of the year. And so here I stand, talking to one of my oldest friends who was currently red-faced and laughing deeply and often from the amount of alcohol he had already consumed, a fake nail going through his head and a small amount of red-make-up trailing down his face, dripping down in some places due to having being melted by the heat of the strobe lighting which filled the press conference hall.

"So Artie" John asked "how it's feel being the new 007 of the English Branch?" He'd always been a big fan of movies, especially those of the spy persuasion with suave heroes and somewhat clique villains.

"Good" I said, smiling lightly. For the party everyone had been asked to wear a costume, whether it is the whole hog or just a few bits of make-up and some furry ears. Since I couldn't have gotten in any other way, that and some of the other staff wouldn't stop bothering me about it; I ended up coming in a wizard's hat, cloak and wand.

"Heh heh" John chuckled, ruffling my hair as he had done throughout all my life, as well as calling me Artie, a pleasure of which only he was privy to. "That's great, just remember-"

"I'm a watchdog to all; I must protect my team and respect my leaders. I remember."

"You forgot the last one…" John said a smaller and more devious smirk on his face. I drew a questioning expression on my face.

Ever since I had joined the Colour Police John had told me the same words until eventually it had become sort of a mantra to me.

When John saw that I didn't know what to say he laughed and said

"And have some f-cking fun kicking everybody's ass!"

After that we chatted and laughed some more and soon the night started to draw to a close, the midnight hour about to toll as someone tossed John a mike and everyone shouted for him to make a speech.

Eventually he seemed to concede much to the delight of everyone else and spoke about all the good times he'd had. He talked about the time he had helped Gilbert pick up some chicks after their boyfriends had all been locked up after a drug bust. He talked about the several occasions in of which he stopped girls kick the roi de l'amour in the couilles, Francis laughing his stupid perverted 'honhonhon' laugh. He even talked about the rather taboo occasion when the office's local samurai had gotten 'thoroughly wasted' and had started imitating Bruce Lee in the middle of a night-club.

At the end everyone was smiling and laughing and making fond comments. It showed you how well everyone liked John and respected him, even if they were higher in the power ladder. At the end he rounded off with something interesting, something that I had heard rumours about but had never been set in stone.

"So I'm sure all of you have heard about Artie being put in my sorry-ass boots" to of which there were a few snide comments which I decided to ignore "but it's been rather more rarely heard that since I'm leaving someone else is being employed from the old U.S of A to round out the group again. Now Artie," he pointed directly at me, everyone turned "I hope you're ready for this partner because this guy's a real cowboy".

I smiled,

"Yes Sir"

"That's John to you now, ya hear me!"

There was a pause, then

"Yes John, happy retirement…"

And with that John announced a round on him, though I politely declined. All in all it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be.

When I saw John walk out those doors the next morning I stared at that back for a moment, thinking of everything John had done for me. Then my mind came upon something else, who would – no, could – replace John, even if this new guy would be under my jurisdiction. I wondered then sighed. I'd just have to find out…

**Thanks for reading! Oh god, I know this sucks majour -ss but I swear I'll make the first chapter better. Look forward to the first story of my new series, Coptalia!.**

**Also I take no credit for the original ideas behind the colour police, the people that draw those are extremely awesome. Also Hetalia belongs to Funimation and Hidekazu Himaruya.**

**French for idiots:**

**roi de l'amour - king of love**

**couilles - balls**


End file.
